You’re Missing

There was a death in my sister’s family and more distantly in mine.

I wanted to spend a moment describing how death of a loved one has always felt to me.  I’m not sure this is comforting, but maybe it allows for sharing of experience, and letting those left behind know they’re not alone.
The best art that gets at it for me has always been a Springsteen tune from The Rising.  It was mostly in the context of 9/11 and as such was unique, but I think it still applies.

Deaths that I’ve experienced all made me feel sort of disjointed.  For most of the world life goes on as if nothing has happened.  People express their sympathy and mean it, but still for them this is one very small thing competing for their attention and is not at the forefront of their attention.  Usually for them they didn’t know the person lost, or at least not as well as you did; For them for the most part nothing has happened.
For the bereaved, your life is upside down and the loss is on your mind most of the time.  Nothing feels normal, but again for most of those around you everything is normal.  You feel isolated and alienated from most people, at least more than usual.

I thought Springsteen captured this here with detailing of normal things:  papers on the porch, shirts in the laundry, etc; contrasted to the refrain of You’re missing.  Actually 9/11 was different from the typical death in that the sense of loss was I think more shared than normally is the case.

My sympathy to anyone feeling like this.  You aren't as alone as it feels.

Welcome

I love movies.  I watch many as videos.  I hope to comment and get to talk about them here.